Ushanka
by RadianceRose
Summary: While Kyle is reading to Ike, the younger Broflovski notices something odd going on with his brother's old hat. It seems that when everything is extraordinary one forgets that the ordinary exists. Oneshot.


_**Author's (First) Note:**_

Okay, so first off, I'd just like to say that this doesn't have any shipping in it. Just saying. Yeah. Um. And other than that, for anyone who has been hoping for the next chapter of Girly Issues, Girly Solutions (aka that Style fic I've been writing), I am SO sorry. I really meant to have it done and uploaded for Valentines, but I'm having problems completing it and I lost my notebook and can't find it. I WILL finish it, and soon, but for now it's at a stand-still. Really sorry. Anyhow, I know I'm not the only one who really liked the Ike/Kyle relationship in chapter two of said fic, so I decided to write some more Broflovski brothers. Which is this. Hope you enjoy it, and I'll try to get the next/last chapter of the other fic up soon. Oh, and if you'd like you can try to guess what Kyle is reading to Ike. And if you figure it out you might want to wonder WHY he would be reading something like THAT to a fourth grader…

~RadianceRose

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"Kyle, that hat just moved all by itself."

Kyle looked up from the book he'd been reading. "Hm? Don't be silly, Ike. Hats don't move unless you pick them up and move them. Now do you want me to read this or do you want to just read it to yourself?"

Ike frowned and tugged his sleeves over his hands. "Want you to read," he said, climbing into his older brother's lap.

"That's what I thought." Kyle ruffled Ike's untidy black hair gently and opened the book back up. _"I got up, tripped, got up again and tore out of the muster room, catching sight of Lee stepping into the elevator at the end of hall. When the doors shut and the elevator descended, I ran for the stairs, hurtled down six flights and out into the parking lot just in time to see Lee peeling rubber northbound on Broadway…"_

---

_"…Blanchard's down in Tijuana. A border patrolman we talked to saw him, recognized him from all the fight publicity. He was-_ Hm? What is it Ike?" Bucky Bleichert's continuing pursuit of his partner had been abruptly cut off by a small, nine-year-old hand tugging on Kyle's sleeve.

"It-it moved again," stuttered the younger Broflovski.

Kyle sighed. "No, it didn't, Ike. Hats don't move by themselves. Unless it's really windy."

Ike frowned and glanced worriedly at the corner of Kyle's room, "Not windy," Ike stated. "But the hat is moving by itself." He pointed. "See?"

Kyle looked, knowing full-well that there was no arguing with fourth graders. He blinked. Just as Ike had said, right there, in the corner of his room, the familiar green flaps of a well-worn green ushanka were wriggling and squirming towards the two brothers. "Huh," Kyle said, letting the book close and slide onto the floor. "Well. I guess you were right, Ike. That's pretty weird."

Ike beamed briefly and triumphantly, then pouted worriedly at the moving hat again. "Weird," he repeated, a little nervously, burying his head in Kyle's chest.

The older Broflovski smiled softly at his brother. Ike got so worried over the strangest things. There were perfectly… normal… ways to explain, well, everything. Weren't there? Granted, this WAS South Park, Colorado, the one place in Earth where Kyle should have learned not to doubt that a hat could indeed move by itself. Anything could happen in South Park. And did.

"Here, ushanka, ushanka, ushanka!" Kyle called, laughing softly, hoping it would cheer up Ike so he wouldn't be so anxious. Ike looked up at him, looking more worried than ever. The ushanka wriggled closer. Kyle stopped laughing. "Okay, that's just plain weird."

Ike nodded and buried his face deeper into Kyle's shirt. "Your hat must be possessed," he mumbled, voice muffled by the soft fabric.

Kyle stared thoughtfully at the hat, then at Ike. The small Canadian boy looked up into his brother's face. "As weird as it is to say this, I think you may be right, Ike."

The two Broflovski brothers just sat there, one staring and one staring away from the slowly traveling hat, for several minutes.

"You know what, Kyle?" Ike said, chewing on his knuckle fretfully. "I don't like this. Hats aren't supposed to do that."

"Lots of things aren't supposed to happen that do in South Park, Ike," Kyle said. Ike frowned. "But you know what? I don't really like this either. You think we should call dad?"

Just then, before Ike could reply, the hat stopped moving and let out a pitiful sounding mew.

The brothers exchanged startled glances and burst out laughing as a tiny gray kitten finally freed itself from beneath the clutches of the hat. The kitten looked almost as startled as them.

"I guess sometimes things are so weird in South Park that we assume everything is a freak show," Kyle laughed.

Ike grinned. "Yep," he said. The kitten mewed and waivered the rest of the way over to the two brothers. It sniffed the cover of book they'd been reading and mewed. "You want Kyle to read to you too, kitty?" Ike asked. He'd always been like Stan that way- Ike loved animals too. The kitten mewed. "I don't know how much you'd like this book though, kitty. The girl on the front here," he pointed to the cover, "she gets killed and cut into little pieces and they never find the killer." The kitten squeaked and seemed to jump a little bit in surprise.

"Oh, come on, you've ruined the ending for her, Ike," Kyle scolded.

"Yeah, I guess," Ike said, "but everyone knows that. It's history."

"Not everyone."

"Most everyone," Ike amended.

"Not most everyone in your class, I bet," Kyle pointed out.

"Nope, I guess you're right. Just me n' Katie."

Kyle grinned. "You know, it's not particularly good etiquette to talk about unsolved and terribly brutal murder cases with new girlfriends." The kitten mewed in agreement.

Ike frowned. "Bet it's not particularly good etiquette to put a centipede down your new boyfriend's shirt either," he pointed out. "And Katie did that twice."

Kyle laughed.

"So can we keep the kitten?" Ike asked, changing the subject.

Kyle sighed. "We'll have to ask dad."

"Dad will say yes," Ike replied confidently.

"And mom's not in town."

Ike nodded happily. "That's what I was thinking."

"So what should we name her?"

"How about Stan?" Ike teased.

Kyle scowled and dumped the younger boy off his lap and onto the floor. "That's a boy's name, Ike. Try again."

"Peanut Butter?"

"No, that's stupid."

"How about Sirius?"

"The dog star?" Kyle asked skeptically.

Ike nodded.

"No way. That's not funny. No one would get it."

Ike sighed. "Yeah, and they'd probably think we named her after the Harry Potter character. Even if he is pretty cool. Oooh. How about we name her Hermione?"

"No."

"Luna?"

"Better, but still no."

Ike frowned in thought. "I've got it!" he exclaimed. "We should name her Ushanka!"

Kyle laughed. "What do you think about this, cat?"

The kitten mewed happily and head-butted Ike's hand.

"Well, I guess that settles it. Ushanka the kitten. Come on, Ike, let's go tell dad that there's a new addition to the family."

---

**Author's Ramblings: **

Yay! Cute, huh? Did you guess the book? No? Whyever not? Well, I'll tell you. Kyle is, for some strange reason, reading his little brother a historical murder mystery by James Ellroy titled The Black Dahlia. Maybe you've heard of it. It's pretty damn mature. I'm reading it right now. Anyway. That doesn't really matter. I mean, Ike was reading Othello in the second chapter of Girly Issues, so whatever. I guess he likes stuff like that. That cat's going to have an interesting life. Mark my words, you'll see her again. Also, if you didn't notice, all my fanfics sort of fit together in a chronological fashion (so far), so this one comes after Girly Issues concludes, which has not happened yet. Yeah. Sorry again about that. Hope you enjoyed this and I'll see you again later! Bye byeee~

~RadianceRose


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